Overflowing happiness

My birthday's coming up soon! Twenty-one years. It seems surreal to think years have passed this fast. Last few months I haven't had much time to post nor scroll social media. I haven't had time to be in touch with almost anyone. I have taken time for myself. After long time of pointless drifting in Paris, I came back to Italy to clear my mind. To listen what I really want. And I have realized lot. I have grew mentally. I have become one with myself. With the universe. I have stopped complaining and started being grateful. Listening my heart and its voice.

I have done so much in two decades; Travelled around the world, alone and with friends. Met soulmates. Fell in love. Broke my heart. Saw the sunrises and sundowns with loved ones. Danced untill the morning. Lived in 5 different countries. Moved alone to Paris. Brought my family to here. Went to New York alone and made friends in Bronx and Harlem. Got robbed in Rio de Janeiro. Stayed in a favela. Sung in public. Kissed in a rain. Lived in Italy. Found home. Had tears of happiness and sadness. Lived by the sea, meditated, and found peace. Got lost in Russia. Partied 3 weeks in Malta with my girls. Lived in a slum in Argentina. Learned 6 languages. Studied 4 more. Played sports. Won two medals in finnish championships. Danced hip hop and ballet. Took a nap at the beach in a Nizza. Smiled to people passing by. Took a photo with a tiger and held a crocodile in my hands. Said farewells to loved ones. Was blessed with 3 other great families besides my blood one.

Tried stuff I thought I'd never try. Found my passion. Worked in three different jobs at a same time in high school. Graduated with good grades. Wrote poems. Took 2 tattoos in secret. Worked as a model. and made clothes. Saw sunrise. Run 10km in 55 minutes. Stopped eating animals. Met celebrities and realized they're just like the rest of us. Cut my hair short and dyed it blonde. Learned to love Mondays. Kissed a girl. Slept in a boat in Amsterdam. Saw Cristo Redentor. Let go of people with the different path. Felt the earthquake. Red a book in foreign language. Gave food for several homeless person. Spoke with them. Went to festivals. Realized the beauty both inside and out of me. Writing to publish a book. Found my own belief. Started to appreciate my parents so much more. Spend the whole Sunday in bed. Had the blessing to witness my two baby siblings to be born. 

I am not afraid to turn 21. In fact, I am more than excited to celebrate it, as it shows my growth and where all my decisions and actions have brought me. I don't consider myself older, but instead one year wiser. I have been in this beautiful planet Earth one year more, in this continuous spiritual journey. It's time to say goodbye to my lovely Italy again and start a new chapter - new time period - by moving to Berlin next week. So here it is - cheers to the twenties, to the 21st birthday - the time you awake, appreciate and find your true self.

-zozoolea-

Rio de Janeiro

The rat race of society

What is life? A question we often ask with my best friend. When something magnificent happens to us or when we are having an existencial crisis in the middle of a night. When we can't describe the feeling of happiness and when we feel like our lives are pink candy cotton. When we miss the ocean and the feel of pure freedom so much, that the yearning becomes physical pain.

There are no right or wrong answers to the question because there are no questions nor answers. There are just words and feelings. Time is just concept created by sovereigns. Money is just piece of paper created by greedy slaughterers. Trying to control us. Making us mores and rules to live by. Telling us how society and individuals should behave and what to obey.

When we are born we are told not to hurt others. It makes sense, no one wants to be hurt neither. As we grow older there comes more and more rules, some of them written in law, some are unspoken. Many of them makes sense like don't kill and steal, but still you find people who won't follow them. People are killed and being robbed daily. And this unfortunately never ends.

The other rules make no sense at all - to pay for the water or to pay for the food you eat. In all history of planet Earth, humans might be the first ones to ever pay for resources the Mother Nature gives us for free. Only problem here is the ingratitude we give back - tons of waste, oil spills that ruin the oceans and all their biota. Causing global warming. We don't appreciate anything.

Rules of society are similar. They don't make any sense at all. Big corporations are pushing people to the wanted direction. To the direction they want. Making us believe what they want. Did you ever think if someone controls us or do we have a free will? Do they give us the freedom of choice or just options to choose? What really is the impact of one individual in this immense net of surrealism?

Society tells you to be yourself, but not excessively. You're considered divergent if you stick out too much. So your life is expected to go the same rat race everyone else is running too. Your life goes from high school to a university, into finding an other half-so you won't be a loner, to buy a dog and a house. To take more loan on top of the student loan. To get married. To have kids.

All this has to happen as quick as possible, so you won't disappoint anyone. So you won't get ''behind''. Your life is filled with empty achieves after achieves, trying to impress people who don't even care about you. To have a perfect life with faultless exterior even when behind the curtains everything is falling apart. And you can not ask for help, because it would show weakness, making you imperfect.

You can run as long the rat race as you want, but one day, one knob will liftoff and the wheel - also known as your entire life - will come apart. You will wake up and come aware that you haven't lived your life in the ways you could've. So you divorce, divide all the substance and the days with the kids. You pack your bag and start wander. You start doing what makes you feel good.

Rat race life might be the life some want, and it is okay. There are so many ways to live and dream your life as there are humans in this planet. I am here to give you one sight, and the next person will tell you his sight, diverse from mine, and you will have your own sight. It is the beauty of life, to choose the way you think and act. As long as you don't just exist. 

Breathe deep and let your lungs be filled with life. Ask yourself what makes you feel free and happy. Turn those thoughts into a reality. Don't listen what others have to say. Listen to your inner voice, it knows what's right for you. Change your life if you're not satisfied with it now. It might take time and lot of effort but you'll find the way. And you shall know your life.

-zozoolea-

The temple of higher self-awarness

Gratitude. A word everyone knows, but maybe doesn't understand. Takes things for granted. About what am I thankful? I am thankful to be healthy, free to walk, and free to express my thoughts and opinions. I am thankful of every person in my life, that I can read and I am able to hear. When was the last time you have thanked another person or yourself?

Felicity. Depends on your perspective to things and life itself. To not complain about unnecessary. To forget pleasing everyone else and focus on what pleases oneself. To create a life, where you don't want to change a thing. Find a passion and share the little moments with others. Or enjoy them alone. When was the last time you smiled or laughed genuinely?

Bliss. The feeling of peace and light inside you. Can be achieved by helping others, by doing unselfishly what is righteous. By being in a  balanced relation with nature and animals. By smiling to a bypasser or cheer up other by being present. Displace the negative energy by creating positive. When was the last time you gave a helping hand to someone?

Understanding. By opening eyes and mind one sees that there are others than just oneself in this universe. Other than one's thoughts. To discuss with people that represent different culture, religion, generation or possess different values than oneself. To travel and study. To see and experience. To determine and become better. When was the last time you tried to put yourself in someone else's place?

Courage. To dare to be brave. To win ones fears and grow as a person. To encourage others and to put oneself on the side of weaker. To leave ones comfort zone. To be different and carry it with pride. To say and express ones feelings. When was the last time you did something you're afraid of?

Curiosity. To ask, get more knowledge and bloom your inner library. To self-examinate. To examine the universe. To listen ones inner voice. But to listen for real. To think of what one is capable of. When was the last time you learned something new?

Traveling has changed me. I am thankful of my life, I am happy for all the possibilities I have and I feel blissed by helping others. I am understanding in different situations and brave to face my fears. I am curious to develop myself for better. I am the temple, and with these stones I am building myself a higher self-awarness

-zozoolea-

La cité de Dieu

Rio de Janeiro, the famous city of God. Full of magic and happiness. Samba carnivals, mesmerizing beaches with beautiful people. Being in Rio was nothing I've experienced before. It took me off my feet and made me fall in love with it. It was all so sudden, just a blink of an eye. There was no way to survive but by surrendering. I let it absorb me to its streets, listened to the beat and observed how everyone were dancing to it.

Remember last summer when I told how I've found home? After one week in Italy? Now I've found my second home - in Rio. Maybe it was going back to South America, where I lived when I was younger, maybe it is the culture, or the ocean. Maybe all them together. In Rio I found everything I need in my life; the beach, palm trees, compelling music, intriguing culture and my biggest love - the ocean.

I had been there only few hours and I felt very strongly the connection. The city was communicating with me. Sao Paulo was beautiful in its own way, but with different vibes. It was busy and europeanish. Here the vibe is easygoing and vivid. The ocean gives the city smooth touch, full of colors and life. I have never thought my country is where I was born or raised, but where I feel truly happy and in peace. I respect my roots and will never forget them, but I am absorbing and recreating my own legacy. And maybe by traveling more this magical planet I'll found more places to call home.

Obrigada Rio, for welcoming me home.

-zozoolea-

Na esperança de um dia melhor

Favela - makes most people think of fear, darkness and danger. Guns and drugs, rapes, maleficent people. It always has surprised me how much negativity can be related with only one word. People outside the favela are scared to go favelas, they don’t like to speak about it - it’s like they’re ashamed of it. So they sweep it under the rug and try make it invisible. And there’s the problem. If society shuts whole communities outside, how they think people living there will react?

In Rio de Janeiro, where the big favela communities are, and where I stayed in one of them, I experienced and saw good people with no opportunities. People waking up in the morning and working hard, but getting paid a month what other gain in one week. Again, how society would expect them to make good choices, choose over violence and drugs, if they’re not given the same opportunities than others? Change may come by giving better treatment and respect. One’s background nor wealth shouldn’t say where they belong in this world.

People in the favelas are humble. They are happier with less, and they haven’t let the wealth to get in their heads like many upperclass business pigs. They have their own community where yes, the drug lords are their polices, providing justice and security, but where they take care of each others. They say ¨Good morning¨ and ¨Good night¨, they help you when you need it. I got robbed with my friend, and they did everything they could to make us feel better. 

People here also want to live better. Everyone does. But sometimes life doesn’t give everyone the spare share of luck. It will drive them to make bad decisions. We’ve all done them. Even after I got robbed with a knife and lost phones, videocameras and lot of stuff and cursed them to hell, I knew it was not them. It was the problem that exist. Because for them, stealing is easier way to get money than working. So it becomes their work. Because might be that they don’t know about better, about the golden path and better self-conciousness. 

And yes, you can see many happy moments here because they are human beings. they care and share. Money will never be the answer. To love and be loved are. To have people who cares around you. To have values and a vision. Skin color, career, wealth or the house you live in shouldn’t say who you are. Those things don’t matter. Weath in substance bring you greed. Wealth in things money can’t buy, brings happiness. 

I didn’t feel unsafe not even once in there, I felt love. Those people aren’t bad, they’re just driven to be different or their real selves. Yes, pure maleficent people live there too, but they exist in everywhere. Some of them are running to be a president. Stop judging people based on nothing they are. Watch thru all the insignificant, and see their soul, eyes and behavior. 

-zoozoolea-

The Luscious Big Apple

First slices of the most famous Big Apple in the world, served to you. My story. Let yourself get lost in the photos, start mind transporting from your current location to the jungle of New York. Hear the horns in the traffic, smell the air filled with fume and feel the chill wind in your face. Open your eyes and see the smudge on a man's shirt while he eats hot corn dog, then lift your look up, along the glassy skyscrapers, and feel how small one is. Take a break in Central Park.

Wake up when a busy trader bumps into you while passing, speaking numbers on the phone. Wall Street is busy. Take the stairs down into a dark tunnel, and see the subway approaching. There is a little flag of the United States of America, and it looks like a tuna tin. Metallic and cold. Sit down, and feel the twitch when it gets fast again. Get off at Bronx, see the Yankee Stadium and hear the dominican Spanish everywhere. Vibes are changed, you know this isn't Manhattan anymore.

After fresh cut at the barber shop, you feel like traveling. China fascinates in mind, with fortune cats and mysterious culture. Instead of flying above the ocean, you have a piece of the magic right here in New York. The first on the streets and the awful smell of raw seafood counters, Chinese people spitting in front of you. Nothing that matters, you are amazed of everything. 

After a while, you get hungry and want a slice of pizza. Happily the Little Italy is right behind the corner. You order in Italian and get a huge smile and 'Che bella ragazza, vuoi mangiare pizza?' Order a margarita, and after first bite feel the love. You have a deep relationship with it. The bottom is soft and the double mozzarella melts in your mouth. Love.

Sun starts to set down, time to see the Statue of Liberty from a Staten Ferry. Sky is purple and red. After landing again, cross the Brooklyn bridge and walk in the streets of Brooklyn, and look their beautiful little homes side by side, wishing to live there someday with your family. End your day to a Brooklyn skyline, see the lights and everything New York has. You know you'll never can't get enough of this beautiful monster. You're in love.

-zozoolea-

Between humanity and madness

This is pure madness. We are a family. We must be together, not against each other.

Family. Everyone's security, a pillar. Helps during the diffucultied and shares the joy during the happiness. Every member of the family is as important as the other.

Extended family. Wider support net, riches the family with cousins, uncles and grandparents. More laughs and hugs, big parties on holidays. A bigger family.

Society. The ones sharing the country you live in, speaking same language, empowering the traditions, based on hundreds years ago. Creating a culture between your sisters and brothers.

Humankind. The whole human race. All 7,4 billion of us. Together in this planet. Living as one with the Mother Nature, and other races. Experiencing the journey as a soul in a human's body. With other souls.

Place de la République

Cohabitation. As a neighbor or in another city, interacting and helping eachothers as much as possible. Sharing, caring and loving. Sharing little moments and smiles.

Appreciation. Appreciating every member of the mankind-family equally, without hurting eachothers. Thinking the what's best for all instead of oneself. Defending in case of injustice.

Understanding. One understands that in a bigger family, there are persons, who's behavior might differ. Understanding that different cultures and religions live and think slightly different.

Gratitude. Being thankful of the family and every member in it, cohabitating, appreciating and understanding. By letting them live. Love never fades away by embracing it, only by neglecting it.

I saw them. Outrageous photos of the people with blood everywhere and several bomb explodes. My heart paused for a second. I felt fear. Yes, fear. Made me remember of the attacks in Paris last November. When I was there. This makes me wonder if one can truly be safe anymore. 

There are about 100 000 flights everyday. Millions of people using them. And tragedies happens. One can never know when life ends, but it is unfair when it's taken from you. Unfinished lives, families and loved ones left behind. One can only hope for kindness of others, but one can begin the change by changing himself.

My condolences to the victims and their families in Brussels, and to everywhere in the world, where inhumanity happens.

-zozoolea-

La felicità - happiness

Happiness. What is it? Many search happiness for their whole lives without finding it. Some find happiness in other person, some from material. For some traveling and helping others bring happiness. But why do people search for happiness?

When found happiness, one comes loose from past. There becomes a novel life, where every moment is a feast. Every second makes your breath block and everything is worth remembering. One doesn't find happiness by searching, but by experiencing. Happiness comes when you least expect it. For me happiness hit last summer while looking at the red and purple horizon at the seashore with people, I have had known just seven days. With people, who spoke different language and had become to my life that same summer. I cried tears of happiness. I believe everything has its reasons, and this time it was to find happiness. A place where I feel good, and where I can return when wanting. 



I have been lost for a long time. Almost my whole life. Traveling has brought me joy, new experiences and lovely people. Still something has missed. Of all the countries I have been in, in none I have felt this way. The feel when every piece clicks on their places, and one is calm on the inside. No anxiety nor blue mood, just joy and peace. My local friend said to me that night 'You know the feeling coming home from a long journey? I think that happened you today. You're home'. I couldn't have said it more aptly. I was home for the first time. Of course I had my family's home, but Italy became my home. For now and always.





26th of August I moved to Paris for unknown time, but I know for sure that I'll return there. Italy sweep me off my feet. There are no words to describe the feeling, and one can not completely understand before experiencing same. I want to say that I was euphoric. I was home. Grazie Italy.

-zozoolea-

Zozoolea

Wanderer - noun. A person who travels aimlessly. 


Everyone knows that one human being who is always on the move and refuses to settle, that one person seeking for endless adventures, new countries, faces and anything that makes her alive. That one person who always speaks about her unforgettable memories - like that time when she moved to Italy, or ended up in a home full of dominicans in Bronx watching the Super Bowl, or telling about her next plan to take over the world with sparkle in her eyes. 

The person described is Me. I have a gypsy soul and I can never stay too long in one place. I have the urge to learn more and see more and to use all my senses. I am always looking for new places to discover and for another smile to meet. It makes me feel alive, like I can fly and breathe again. It makes me grow as a person and understand myself better. I see what media doesn't want us to see, I see the beauty and misery in everything. I am leaving every adventure always speechless and amazed.



Traveling around the world sounds fun and mesmerizing but like everything, it has its down sides also. As though it is exciting, it is never easy to start a life somewhere new completely from scratch. I have to get to know the city, make new friends and feel connected with the place. And the hardest part about traveling is saying goodbye and letting go of everything I learned to love like my friendships, favorite hiding places and the local food trunk with best pitas in the world... Even the neighbor I heard singing so beautifully through the walls. It breaks me, even when I'm excited to get started in my new destination.

For a long time now, I have wanted to write about the world, the way I see it and communicate with the Mother Nature. Now I know it's time. I am ready. I have so much to tell and so much to share. I know that I know nothing but something is worth writing. You're welcome to join me through the path of unknown as I share my journey to you.

-zozoolea-